I HAVE EVERYTHING!

I feel a bit sheepish as I glance over last week’s blog. After I hit "send" last week, it occurred to me my counselor would have asked me to think about what I do have. So here are just a few things that come to mind. Please understand they are addressing the complaints from last week. I am very grateful for my family, health, home, food – a very long list.

I have the opportunity to work with an organization I feel really passionate about: working with kids who would benefit from adult mentoring. Now that makes my heart sing. Kids make my heart sing.

I prayed for the chance to take on some change in my life. Boy, am I getting that opportunity. I’m seeing from this past week that I can succeed; that it’s okay to have failures (while not fun, it is progress in the perfectionist department); and that having the support of wizard techno people to help me with my Cra- – I mean Blackberry issues has saved my sanity.

I am still struggling with the crabby virus this week, but I am fortunate to have family and friends who are patient. I am hearing myself more in the midst of my crabbiness and apologizing quicker (at least I hope so – confirmation, dear?).

So to quote a wise sixth-grader from his first English paper of the year, “I’m not perfect, but I’m going to keep trying new things and having fun.” Thanks, buddy.

Jealousy

Our family dynamics have shifted in the last couple years, but they seem to have been more pronounced this last school year. My son is shifting to the other side; that is, he's not hangin' with his mama so much anymore. It's all about his dad. I could always count on a snuggle, calling out to me first with some new idea he wanted to share, the ever familiar “Hey, Mom, guess what...”

An example that comes to mind is what I experience when the three of us go to the movies. As a little guy, he would turn to me when something was funny to share the laugh; or if he was scared, he would grab my hand (or even end up in my lap!). Now it's my husband he turns to first for the laugh or excitement or surprise. And this may seem pouty, but sometimes he doesn't even turn to share it with me at all.

What I am clinging to when my feelings are hurt during this period of change is that this father-son relationship is shaping my son into the man he will become. My son informed me, “Because this man will craft this man.” I do find comfort in that statement. I'm going to work on cherishing the memories of the little boy who favored his mama and be ever so grateful that he has this awesome role model in his life.