Do You Ever...

Do you ever have one of those weeks where you wish you would have just listened, spoke less, tried harder, paid more attention, prayed first, been intentional, stopped saying “should have” and “what if,” stopped second-guessing what you said or wrote, felt comfortable in your own skin, liked the person you are, knew what you truly stand for, knew what you truly believe, knew if you're being honest with yourself, that your intentions are true, why your heart aches so intensely, why you don't follow through when you say, “I want to learn how to (fill in the blank),” or “hey, let's get together soon,” wonder how many “if onlys” you'll leave behind in this life, try to justify something you did that you know was wrong, squander your progress?

Thank you, God, for giving me grace and hope.

What Nature Means To Me

The evidence of God, Jesus, Mary, the cross, religion, was evident pretty much everywhere we went in Italy on our vacation this summer. It is majestic, absolutely stunning, beyond anything I could imagine, and boy have I dreamed of Italy. It's surreal. I'm still processing I had the opportunity to stand in these historic places, before these wondrous pieces of art, in the Sistine Chapel under Michelangelo's ceiling... I am genuinely grateful for this opportunity of a lifetime.

And though I saw evidence of God in possibly every nook and cranny, where I felt Him, where my heart just swelled in wonder and my eyes filled with tears, was in the beauty of nature seen on the rolling hills of a vineyard, hills covered by grapes and olive trees, rose bushes used as a natural herbicide, the towers of a little city atop a hill in the distance, hazy blue skies and white puffy clouds, the wind blowing my hair and skirt, white cows, the smell of earth, manure, and hay, seeing field after field of sunflowers.

Nicaragua, it now dawns on me, stole my heart for its simplicity, the exotic sounds heard in the early morning hours of birds whose beauty I could only imagine, the howls of dogs, chattering insects, rain on the church's tin roof, the lushness of nature and the human kindness encountered at every turn.

And for me, that's the way I connect with God best.